


Every Morning Since You Went Away

by flipflop_diva



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hanukkah, Holidays, Memory Loss, Moving On, Post-Canon, Protective Tina Goldstein
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-19 05:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13117173
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flipflop_diva/pseuds/flipflop_diva
Summary: It was her favorite part of the day, going to the bakery, seeing Jacob’s new creations, seeing Jacob and the way he always smiled at her when he handed over her order.It was also the hardest part of her day, feeling his touch when their fingers brushed, seeing the lack of real familiarity in his eyes, knowing that all he saw was the woman who came in daily to try his creations and not the woman who, in a different life, could have been so much more.





	Every Morning Since You Went Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [reveetoile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/reveetoile/gifts).



> Written for reevetoile for the Fantastic Gifts 2017 exchange. I had so much fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy!

It was her favorite part of the day, going to the bakery, seeing Jacob’s new creations, seeing Jacob and the way he always smiled at her when he handed over her order. 

It was also the hardest part of her day, feeling his touch when their fingers brushed, seeing the lack of real familiarity in his eyes, knowing that all he saw was the woman who came in daily to try his creations and not the woman who, in a different life, could have been so much more.

A couple times she had thought that maybe, just maybe, he remembered her. On those times, he had looked at her differently — a tilt of the head, a slight widening of the eyes — but then there was a flicker and it was gone and he was asking for her order and she was, once again, feeling her heart drop even as she smiled and laughed and winked at him, telling him to “Keep the change, sweetie”.

Tina told her, not just once, to stop going there, to just stay away, that it was only making everything worse for herself. Tina reminded her that Jacob was safe, and he was happy, and that was what was important. 

And it was important. Very important. But when Queenie came home on certain days, just to find Newt in town and he and Tina curled around each other on the couch, surrounded by Newt’s collection of puffskeins, she couldn’t help but wonder what could have been.

Those days with Jacob had been the greatest of her life, the most exciting. She had felt so alive, so connected, like she had finally found someone who understood her. It wasn’t so wrong to want to remind herself of that, was it?

But the weeks, and the months, were passing and the supply of No-Maj money that Tina had called in from a friend who owed her a favor was slowly dwindling, and soon there would be nothing left. No more money to buy daily treats. No more excuses to see Jacob. No more reminders of those days that changed her life.

She had already tried to cut back, only going to the bakery twice a week. (“You haven’t been in as much lately,” Jacob had said to her the last time she was there, and she thought his smile looked a little sadder than normal. She stopped herself from reading his thoughts as she forced a smile back at him, brighter and wider than she felt she’d ever smiled before. “Just a little low on cash at the holidays,” she said brightly. “If I could, I’d come see you every day, Sweetie.” Jacob had blushed then, and Queenie had taken her pastries and hurried out into the cool day, before she couldn’t lie to herself that the sting in her eyes was from allergies.)

She had even gone out on a date with a couple of wizards she’d met from her job at MACUSA, but they were just dreadful. She could hold a conversation with anyone normally, but not these men, and she didn’t even have to read their thoughts to know the only thing they wanted from her.

“Sorry, honey,” she told each of them airily, both just a couple hours into the date as she had walked away from each one. “I’m not that type of girl.”

So yes, she was trying. Trying to forget, trying to move on. She couldn’t help that it wasn’t working, now could she?

Tina found her one night, sitting at the table, counting what little No-Maj money was left. Enough for just three more trips to the bakery. Three more pastries.

Tina pulled out the chair next to her and sat down.

“I’m sorry we don’t have more,” she said softly, watching Queenie count and recount the same small pile, as though maybe there would be more if she counted just one more time.

Queenie smiled at her sister. “I thought you’d be happy it was almost gone.”

Tina looked thoughtful. “I’m not happy it worked out this way for you.”

“Well,” Queenie tried to sound cheerful. “It’s just time to move on, right? There’s got to be some nice wizard out there. You found one.”

Tina nodded. “I was thinking,” she said, “that we could do something nice for the holiday?”

“Nah, I don’t need to do something nice,” Queenie said. “Just us together is nice. I could cook, that would be nice.”

“Are you sure? We could go somewhere. Go to see Newt in England instead of …”

Queenie stopped her, placing a hand over her sister’s. “It will be nice spending Hanukah here, just with you two.” She didn’t mention that she had no plans as of yet to stop seeing Jacob at all. There was a bench across the street from his bakery, and if she held a book just right …

“If you’re sure,” Tina was saying, and Queenie nodded, trying her best to look excited.

“I am sure.”

•••

The day before Hanukah began, the last of the No-Maj money ran out. Queenie went to the bakery in the morning and picked out one of Jacob’s newest creations — a thunderbird — leaving him her last few coins as a tip.

“I’ll see you tomorrow!” Jacob told her happily as he packaged up her pastry. 

“Of course you will, Sweetie,” she answered cheerfully, not bearing to tell him he would probably never see her again. 

She took her pastry, letting her fingers linger a second longer over his, and then, instead of just leaving the shop, she took her time, looking one last time over all the creations in the shop’s display case, looking at the decorations on the wall. Finally, she stood by the door, studying the man she knew she still loved, until she could bear it no longer, and she left the shop, rushing out into the cold windy day.

She had already sent an owl into work that she would not be in that day, so she took her time, wandering the streets, eating her thunderbird pastry crumb by crumb. As she took the very last bite, she realized with a start that she was by the subway entrance — the same one where it had all ended. The one where she had said goodbye.

She walked over, almost as if drawn to it, and sat down on the freezing stairs, closing her eyes and letting herself remember, just one more time …

•••

It was almost dark when she let herself back into the apartment. She knew Tina and Newt would be worrying soon, and she needed to get the food on the stove.

She pushed open the door, let her eyes adjust to the dim lighting, and then gasped. There were three people sitting on the sofa.

They all turned to look at her, still standing at the door, and then one by one they stood — Tina and Newt and …

“Jacob?” she whispered, not daring to believe her eyes. “Why? … How? … You are here?”

He smiled at her as he stepped around Tina and Newt to come closer.

“Hi Queenie,” he said gently.

And no. It couldn’t be true. It couldn’t! But his eyes … he was looking at her … the way he was looking at her … the way he was smiling … the way Tina and Newt were smiling behind him …

She couldn’t help it. She let herself read his mind, just to assure herself, just to know. And …

“You remember,” she whispered, still staring at him, still frozen in place, still not daring to breathe or believe. 

“I remember,” he said quietly. “I remember everything.” He glanced behind him at Tina and Newt. “I think I remember everything.” He looked back at her. “Everything that matters anyway.”

“But … how?” she whispered, and he laughed.

“Your sister came to visit me at my bakery,” he said. “And it just happened!”

Queenie cast a look at her sister. She knew better. Nothing like that just happened. 

Tina was watching her, a gentle expression on her face, and Queenie felt a rush of love and gratefulness for her unlike anything she had ever felt before. She had always loved her sister, but to know she had done this …

But Jacob was moving closer to her, reaching out his hands, and there would be time to thank Tina later. To repay her for years and years and years to come.

She took Jacob’s hands, let him pull her to him, leaned up and pressed her lips to his. Just quickly at first. And then again, longer and more intense. And then even longer, as he wound his arms around her and she was laughing and running her hands through his hair and they were kissing like they were never going to stop.

And she realized, somewhere in the back of her mind, that maybe this time she would never actually have to stop.

Jacob was back, and he was hers, and it was time to make the most of that second chance.


End file.
